A Defense of 2x Media Consumption
Though there is a long list, likely my most peculiar trait is watching media at 2x speed. It also happens to be the thing by which those around me are most frustrated. Lest we forget, this is not a short list. The following is an apologist’s perspective vis-à-vis 2x media consumption—don’t knock it till you try it!
I’d like to first ground the discussion in some historical background. I began watching content at 2x speed when I was studying for AP World History in 10th grade. I was watching Crash Course World History,¹ but they covered content just a tad too slowly.² I did some sleuthing and discovered Video Speed Controller (VSC).
VSC changed my life. VSC can speed up (or slow down (?)³) any content, anywhere. I quickly began using it across all platforms, not just when watching review materials. I used it to watch Breaking Bad. I used it to watch The West Wing. I used it for audio books.⁴ I could be so much more efficient with my media consumption; I had won.
Let me now offer a mathematical explanation for why such abnormal media consumption is optimal. Consider Hoo Loo.⁵ Hoo works fifty (50) hours a week, sleeps fifty (50) hours a week, and has another thirty-five (35) hours of miscellaneous tasks like To-Dos That Need To Get Done (e.g., showering, cooking, laundry).
That leaves Hoo approx. thirty-three (33) hours per week to do what Hoo wants to do. Let’s say Hoo spends half that time hanging out with friends or family. We are now down to fifteen (15) hours a week, or slightly over two (2) hours a day. Given that Hoo—and those similar to him—is/are partial to spectating sports, Hoo’s remaining free time is about one (1) hour a day.⁶
With that time, Hoo could either watch 7 episodes of The Great British Baking Show or 20 episodes of Parks & Recreation every week. Alternatively, he could do both simply by watching everything at 2x speed. ¿Porque no los dos?
And that is the crux of the argument for 2x media consumption. Why would Hoo ever watch something at regular speed when he could watch it at 2x speed? Hoo is simply optimizing his time. Hoo can consume all of Squid Games (provided Hoo is able to read subtitles at a non-trivial pace) in half the time. Then go on to watch the new season of Succession. This enables Hoo not only to 1) enjoy twitter memes from people who have more time than him but also 2) engage in water cooler banter which, as we know, is the most important part of any job (#networking).
Note that my argument does not rest on any individual Hoo. Without loss of generality (wlog), the conclusion holds for all Hoos (cf. “whose”). In a time-strapped world, everyone benefits from time saving mechanisms.⁷
From HBO Max to Netflix, music videos to non-music videos (4% of all websites; iykyk), VSC helps optimize consumption. And that’s why I plan on creating a competing website to that which currently houses my blogs: 2xmedium.com™.
Given Queso and Defense (self-referential), it is becoming clearer that though I am a fan of espousing ideals from my ivory tower (read: 10 x 10 bedroom), I am no fan of integrating them into my life. Easier said than done, one could say. Though I suppose this phenomenon may simply underscore my casuistry.
[1] Hi, I’m John Green and this [infinitesimal pause] is Crash Course World⁸ History and today we’re talking about…I can still hear it.
[2] Okay fine, I just had to watch too many videos for an exam the next morning.
[3] I’ve never tried such a thing.
[4] I listened to The Picture of Dorian Gray at 3.5x speed. It was Wilde.
[5] Dr. Suess could never.
[6] Apart from the fairly childish pun, Hoo is also loosely based on a true story (me), though current work hours are a bit more intense.
[7] Dishwashers and 2x media consumption are not dissimilar in this way. Strange bedfellows? Sure.
[8] US History works just as well here. Note that I footnoted a footnote. A feetnote, if you will.
