Eggcorns and Acorns: A Primer on Linguistics
This article will be a primer into some of the funnier aspects of Linguistics. The objective is that after reading it, you’ll be motivated to use some complicated-sounding terminology to impress your friends and family without really knowing anything at all…and isn’t that really the point of a college education anyway?
I took a Linguistics class this past semester, and I think my favorite part about the class was how funny some of the content was. One week, we talked about palatals and fricatives (literally just types of sounds). The next, we’d talk about how -s is an “inflectional affix” in English. Certainly, there are benefits of studying Linguistics because language is an important facet of humanity itself. But also, there’s some really hilarious stuff (see here, here, and here).
First up, eggcorns. An eggcorn is any word or phrase that has devolved from its original pure form to something…less so. For example, dog-eat-dog world becomes doggy-dog world. All intents and purposes becomes all intensive purposes. Acorn becomes eggcorn. These eggcorns are all auditorily and semantically similar to the original phrases (semantically means related to meaning; I could — but didn’t — say meaning-ly). For a database of eggcorns, see here. For fiery English Stack Exchange (so that’s a thing?) banter, see here.
In other hilarious Linguistics content, consider Grice’s Maxims which seek to describe conversational cooperation between two (or more) agents. The really funny thing about the maxims is that Grice states “Be brief” as “Be brief (avoid unnecessary prolixity)” which violates two (2!) of his own maxims. 1) The word “prolixity” does not avoid obscurity of expression (a submaxim of manner) and 2) he wasn’t brief. Riveting content.
The maxims also provide a framework for how to understand language and conversation. If someone tells me that they could really use a coffee right now, and I respond, “there’s a place called Joe’s around the corner,” Joe’s better sell coffee (this is known as an implicature because implication was too simple). But what if it didn’t. I’d love to send someone on a Wild Goose Chase for a Cup of Joe’s Joe. Ok, that wasn’t particularly funny, but I promise, I’m about to make it up.
Finally, consider linguistic ambiguities, of which there are several varieties (I will explore three). First up: scopal ambiguity. When you use a modifier in a sentence, it might be unclear to what it is referring (yeah, I said “to what”). It can be even more unclear (unclearer?) when it’s a word like “a” or “each.” A woman in the U.K. gives birth every twenty-four (24) seconds. Does this mean the same woman has a non-stop baby pump? Or does it mean a different woman gives birth but the average time between births is twenty-four (24) seconds? Very unclear.
Next, there is lexical ambiguity, when a word could mean different things. Most Texans have arms. Does this mean most Texans have upper limbs (probably true) or that most Texans have guns (also probably true)? Very unclear!
Finally, and most importantly, consider syntactic ambiguity which is an umbrella term for ambiguity arising from sentence structure itself. She saw the children with binoculars. Did she use the binoculars, or did the children have the binoculars? I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I don’t know! Very unclear, indeed.
So, what’s the takeaway? Well, for one, all the examples show us that language is about communication, not following some group of arbitrary pre-set rules. As long as your other interlocutors know what you’re saying, you’ve seceded [sic (?)].
There could be more content here. But I’ll spare you all (one (1), max two (2) readers) more stupidity and leave it here. Ok wait one final piece of content for those that stuck around. Next time someone tells you not to end a sentence with a preposition, respond with true Churchill flair: “This is the type of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put.”
APPENDIX: Some fun resources for you. The IPA Chart of the World’s Sounds (phonetic inventory). Recorded kids learning to speak (Hannah is particularly funny). The p in pit and spit are different. (The) White House vs. (a) white house. Deaf babies babble in sign.
